Non Violent Communication Workshop: Emotional and Philosophical Tools for Healthier Living

Name: Non Violent Communication Workshop: Emotional and Philosophical Tools for Healthier Living
Start: 2025-02-09T12:00:00+00:00
End: 2025-02-09T16:00:00+00:00
Location: Eternal Lake Nature Reserve

Schedule

Sun Feb 09 2025 at 12:00 pm to 04:00 pm

UTC+00:00

Location

Eternal Lake Nature Reserve | Rochester, EN

FREE workshop Sun 9th Feb at the event room at Eternal Lake. Anyone wishing to attend, please send an email to [email protected].
Workshop handout:
Non-Violent Communication (NVC) Workshop Notes and Questions
Introduction to Non-Violent Communication (NVC)
Non-Violent Communication (NVC), developed by Marshall Rosenberg, is a framework designed to help individuals connect with themselves and others in a way that fosters empathy, mutual understanding, and compassionate action. NVC is about moving beyond blame, judgment, and defensiveness to focus on shared humanity and universal needs.
NVC operates on the premise that:
All human actions are attempts to meet universal needs.
Empathy is the foundation of meaningful connection.
Conflict arises when people focus on strategies rather than needs.
The process of NVC emphasizes:
Observation without evaluation: Identifying what’s happening in a given situation without attaching judgment or blame.
Identifying feelings: Recognizing and naming the emotions arising within us.
Acknowledging needs: Connecting these feelings to unmet universal needs.
Making clear requests: Asking for specific actions that could help meet our needs without demanding or coercion.
NVC is not about suppressing emotions or "being nice" to avoid conflict. Instead, it encourages authentic self-expression while fostering understanding and collaboration, even in challenging interactions.
What is NVC?
NVC is a practical tool for creating empathy in conversations, enabling participants to identify and meet everyone’s fundamental needs. When empathy is present, solutions become clearer, fostering harmony and cooperation.
NVC is grounded in four core components:
Observation: Clearly stating what we see or hear without evaluation or judgment.
Feelings: Identifying and expressing emotions authentically.
Needs: Understanding which universal needs are driving our feelings.
Requests: Asking for what we want in a clear, actionable, and compassionate way.

Workshop Questions and Exercises
1. Observing Without Evaluating
Exercise: Write down one thing that someone else does that is not to your preference. What do they do?
Reflect: Is it an observable behaviour, or have you added evaluation or judgment?
Considerations:
Jiddu Krishnamurti said, “The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence.”
Evaluations: Focus on whether the behaviour serves universal needs, not on judgments. This requires understanding feelings and needs.
2. Expressing Feelings Without Blame
Exercise: Imagine speaking directly to the person. Use the statement:
“When you do this, I feel ______________ .”
Guidelines:
Avoid misunderstanding feelings (e.g., “used,” “manipulated”) as they often indicate your interpretations, not emotions.
Focus on authentic feelings like anger, fear, frustration, or hurt.
Avoid phrases like:
“I feel this way because of you.”
“You make me feel…”
Example of misuse: “You make me angry when you say that.”
Truth: No one can make you feel a certain way. Feelings arise from your own needs and interpretations.
3. Identifying Needs
Exercise: Imagine speaking directly to the person again. Express your reasons for feeling as follows:
“When you do this, I feel __________ because I need __________.”
Tips:
Identify unmet needs (e.g., security, love, predictability, open communication).
Distinguish between needs and requests.
Example: “So, can you tell me what you’d like me to do to meet your need for connection?”
Avoid defensive responses when criticism or attack is perceived.
Key Insight: If fulfilling a need doesn’t feel right or makes life worse, it’s a chance to learn what you truly value.
4. Making Clear Requests
Exercise: Imagine speaking directly to the person again. Based on the previous feelings and needs, complete the sentence:
“I would like you to ______________.”
Guidelines:
State what you want, not what you don’t want.
Ensure requests are clear and actionable (e.g., “Please let me finish speaking before you respond.”).
Requests should be free of guilt, shame, or obligation:
“Please do this only if you feel joy in giving.”
Watch for how others react if they decline your request.
5. Reversing the Situation
Exercise: Step into the other person’s shoes. Imagine they are speaking to you using this format:

“Are you feeling __________ because you need __________?”
Examples:
“Are you feeling hurt because you need love which is not being met?”
“Are you feeling afraid because you need assurance that everything is okay?”
Key Insight: Look beyond words to understand the feelings and needs driving the other person’s behaviour.
Responding to Pain
When someone expresses pain, resist the urge to “fix” or “make it better.” Instead:
Focus on their feelings and unmet needs.
Listen empathetically, allowing love and understanding to shine through.
Reflection
"Words are windows, or they're walls. Let love shine through what I speak and hear. When I listen deeply, I connect to the shared humanity in all of us."