ONLINE LECTURE "Self-worth & Self-love"

SELF-WORTH

Self-worth is one of the most fragile, but also strongest parts of our personality. It decides how we feel about ourselves, how we let others treat us, and how we can accept love, success, and all other good things into our life.

Self-worth starts forming in early childhood - in relationship with our parents. Through their love and attention - or through criticism, blaming, and shaming.

If we were criticised, shamed for some of our traits, blamed for mistakes, or compared to other children - we were basically convinced that we are less valuable. That we are not good enough.

When love becomes conditional (“you’re good when…”), the child learns that love must be earned - that he has to please others and meet their expectations, or he learns that he must fight for it.

Usually, such a child grows up seeing himself as either completely worthless or as more valuable than others.

In both cases, this is a distorted view of their own worth.

This is where perfectionism, control, feeling not good enough, jealousy, and constant comparison with others come from.
We chase unachievable standards, suppress our true needs, feel constant guilt for not meeting others’ or our own expectations. Under all of this lies a deep feeling of shame - the belief that “something is wrong with me.”

Because of this, we unconsciously punish ourselves and don’t allow ourselves to get what we want.

True self-esteem – is the understanding that I am worthy of living, just because I was born. That I am worthy of everything I want simply because I am here. That I am worthy of being happy and that I don’t need to do anything to deserve it. I don’t need to please anyone and I also don’t need to prove anything.

This means I can accept myself as I am, I can say “no” without feeling guilty, take care of my needs, and let others have their own opinion about me, even if that opinion is negative.

Only this way can we reach true love and respect for ourselves.

SELF-LOVE

The phrase “love yourself” is everywhere these days, but because of that, it has lost its real meaning. Many people no longer understand what it really means. Sometimes it is even distorted - as if self-love was selfishness or egoism, even though in reality it has nothing to do with that.

We are told that self-love is pampering ourselves with spa visits, massages, or nice clothes. But unfortunately, self-love is not about that at all.

If you let your partner treat you badly, your coworkers walk all over you, or your friends talk badly about you behind your back, wearing a Sunday-night mask won’t meant that you love yourself.

If you force yourself to work from morning to night, don’t allow yourself to rest, or care for everyone else while pushing yourself aside, buying a new dress won’t mean that you love yourself either.

Self-love is seeing yourself realistically, always supporting yourself, and being on your side no matter what.

It’s allowing yourself to be angry when you need to, allowing yourself to choose yourself first, set boundaries, and not let anyone cross them.

Unfortunately, we were taught to be “good” —- to stay silent, obey, be polite, not resist, and not get angry, just to make others feel comfortable. Gradually, we learned to betray ourselves and our feelings to make others feel good. No one taught us how to be good to ourselves.

The goal of this lecture is to help you recognise how and when your self-worth was damaged, learn to accept the parts of your personality that were considered “bad,” move out of shame, let go of the guilt, and restore healthy self-esteem - one that no longer depends on other people’s opinions.

In the lecture we will talk about:

How I let others treat me, and why I quietly stay where I’m not valued.
Why it feels like I have to be perfect to be loved or accepted.
Why I try to control everything, and when I can’t, I feel unsafe.
Why I constantly feel guilty when I don’t meet others’ or my own expectations.
Why I feel guilty when I choose myself and take care of me first, instead of others.
Why there’s a deep belief inside me that “something is wrong with me.”
Why I feel ashamed of my looks, my needs, or parts of my personality.
Where the feeling comes from that I’m less valuable than others.
Where the belief comes from that others can do more, achieve things more easily, are better — and I’m “not enough.”
Where the feeling comes from that I’m above others.
Where the belief comes from that I’m better, more worthy, or superior.
Why I constantly compare myself to others and feel jealous of those who have more than I do.
Why I punish myself by not allowing myself to have what I want.
Why I let others devalue me, ignore my feelings, opinions, or time.
Why I’m afraid to say “No” and set boundaries.
Why I suppress my anger and don’t allow myself to express it.

In this lecture, you will learn:

How self-worth is formed through parent's criticism, blame, shaming, and punishment.
What true self-care means and what subconscious beliefs limit it.
How learned worthlessness leads to self-punishment - and how to stop punishing yourself.
How perfectionism and the need for constant control hide the fear of not being good enough or worthy.
How to move beyond constant feelings of shame and release guilt.
How to stop comparing yourself to others and feeling “worse” than them.
How to stop seeking validation from others and start trusting your own feelings.
What is imagined self-worth and what kind of pain does it protect us from?
How to start choosing yourself - no matter what.
How to make friends with your inner critic and learn to be on your own side - to support, encourage, and accept yourself even when you make mistakes or fail.
What types of personal boundaries exist in our lives?
How to set them with others and stay true to your decision.
How to restore natural anger within yourself and learn to express it in a healthy way?

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Duration: 1h 30min (includes video + homework)

THIS IS AN ONLINE LECTURE

Once you purchase the lecture, you will receive an email titled Event Tickets containing the link to the lecture and the password to join. Please scroll to the bottom of the email to find these details.

*** If you do not receive the link, please email ***

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