HMU Academy: Conversations on C*ckolding Dynamics

This Hit Me Up event is open to the public, 21+.

About the Class

Conversations on Cuckold Dynamics is a discussion-based, sex-positive exploration of cuckolding as an umbrella term for a range of consensual relationship and power-exchange dynamics, including stag/vixen, hotwife, cuckqueaning, and related configurations. This workshop focuses on meaning-making, communication, emotional experience, and the many ways people thoughtfully and ethically engage with these dynamics.

Together, we will explore common motivations and curiosities that draw people toward cuckold and adjacent dynamics, including themes of desire, power, compersion, voyeurism, vulnerability, and fantasy. We will also look at the wide spectrum of ways these dynamics can show up, from in-person experiences to long-distance and virtual forms of engagement.

The space will be guided by discussion prompts and attendees are welcome to listen, ask questions, and share perspectives or lived experiences in a supportive, nonjudgmental environment.

Topics will include:

• Cuckolding as an umbrella term and how it overlaps with related dynamics
• Consent, negotiation, boundaries, and ongoing communication
• Emotional considerations such as jealousy, reassurance, and aftercare
• Myths and stereotypes versus lived realities
• Different ways people structure and customize these dynamics
  

Participants will leave with a clearer understanding of the diversity within cuckold and related dynamics, practical language for discussing interests and boundaries, and a more normalized, nuanced framework for thinking about this area of consensual non-monogamy and power exchange.

About the Facilitator

Nikita Fernandes (she/her) is a Psychotherapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in New York City. A queer, kinky person of color, she offers culturally sensitive, poly- and kink-affirming, and gender-affirming therapy for individuals, relationships, and non-monogamous groups. Grounded in evidence-based, trauma-informed care, Nikita centers self-compassion in the face of systemic oppression. She holds a dual master’s degree from NYU and has been featured in HuffPost and Feeld.

FAQs

FAQ: what should I bring?

Note-taking materials, an open mind

FAQ: any skill pre-requisites? (i.e., is this for beginners, advanced, everyone?) everyone

FAQ: what should I wear?

Whatever makes you happy that won't get you arrested on the subway (no nudity, except under your clothes)

FAQ: can I attend solo, or do I need to come with a partner?

Everyone is welcome in any combination

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✨Location: 120 Walker St in Lower Manhattan. The space has an elevator. Please email [email protected] if you need any accessibility accommodations.

✨Full vaccination is required. While we recommend getting the booster shots, we are not verifying them at this time.

✨Membership: We reserve the right to refuse entry if needed. Hit Me Up also hosts private events which are invite only, and anyone new to Hit Me Up must apply and be approved to attend—no guests or plus ones. Please visit https://www.hitmeupnyc.com/join to join. You are welcome to inquire as to your status or that of your friends, but please do not act as if you have an entitlement to access our space or members. Building special spaces is hard, and while we are inclusive and welcoming, we reserve the right to curate our membership as needed to maintain our flourishing community. If you'd like to sponsor a new member please have them apply as soon as possible. If they wait until a few days before the event we cannot guarantee they will be able to be approved in time.

✨Please stay home if you are feeling ill or if you have had recent close contact with someone who tested Covid positive (within the past 5 days). You could be incubating and still test negative. Any requests for refunds for any reason will be honored up to the day of the event. Remember: safe, sane, and sanitary Just email [email protected] and we will give you a full refund, no questions asked.

✨Consent Policy: All of our events are ASK FIRST events. The rules of respectful and consensual behavior WILL be enforced. You will be responsible for reading our consent policy and behaving appropriately. Read our consent policy in full: https://www.hitmeupnyc.com/consent. If you have questions, want to make a report, or need support, please contact our third party consent reporting service, available at [email protected].

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