Grief and Gratitude

Grief isn't a sign that something is wrong, but that something mattered deeply.

In the depths of grief, there is resilience, a quiet strength in carrying memories forward, in learning how to live in a world that feels very different from the one that we imagined.

You are welcome in this space, to gather in community as we give our grief permission to move, be heard, and be witnessed, as we tend this wild edge together.

These ancient ways and practises of grief tending, and the teachings we received from Sophy Banks and Francis Wellor, have taught us that grief tending creates a return path. A path back to safety, trust and connection. It is a forgotten practice of being together in grief, which means we often do not receive the care and support, or a way to tend our grief, in a way that we need. It is our belief and experience that this way of grief tending creates a return path.

Grief can feel like an unwanted guest. It hijacks our nervous system, sits heavy on our chest, steals our energy, and moves through our bones. Grief isnt something to be fixed, but something to be witnessed and held. For Grief is proof that love does not die but stays with us in a different form.

‘Our sorrow is the other face of love. for what we deeply love, we can feel deep sorrow.' Joanna Macy.

Who is this for?

This circle is a place to tend to the grief we carry. You are welcome in your tenderness, your numbness, your sorrow. You are welcome with your anger and pain, both the beautiful side of grief and the raw, less pretty side are welcome here.

Whether you are grieving a recent death, or one you've carried in your bones for as long as time, whether your grief is for the sorrows of our beautiful world, or for a life you expected and have not or will not receive.

All parts of you and all parts of your grief are welcome here.

You are welcome here.

What happens at a ‘Grief and Gratitude circle’?

Gratitude. This is where our work begins. Never to ignore our pain or put a silver lining on our sorrow, but to remember that gratitude is what gives life meaning. It is the foundation of our hope. Connecting to gratitude is like dropping an anchor, holding on to our connection to safety, to the here and now, so we don't get lost in the waves of grief.

We begin by settling into our space with grounding practises and connecting to our own gratitude. In the depth of grief, this can be hard, just finding whatever seed or glimmer that you can hold, the birdsong at sunrise, or the warmth from a cup of tea in your hand. We open the space, asking for confidentiality, agency and autonomy of self-care, to co-create a brave space. Each individual body has its own needs to create safety. By honouring those needs, we can create a brave space, where we can expand our capacity and courage, to meet the edges of our grief.

Tending our grief.

As we move into the grief ceremony itself, through shared reflection and trauma-informed practices, we begin to stir our grief. We are invited to share thoughts and reflections, and use rituals to express grief when we have no words. When we gather in community, through ceremony, we remember how to grieve. Through rituals, writing and sharing practises, we hope to remember that grieving is part of being alive, that grief is holy and it asks to be honoured, not fixed.

As we close our circle, there will be some time to tend to our hearts and nervous systems, allowing for rest, integration and nourishment.

Everything is invitational.

You will be asked and reminded to keep self-care as a priority, honouring your needs at all times. You are invited to participate as much as feels right for you. We support each other with our presence and listening. This is not a space to fix each other, but to be seen and held in community as we welcome our grief. Whether you choose to speak, listen or simply be present, we will meet each other with care, respect and understanding.

It is our belief and experience that this return path of grief tending is a remembering that grieving is part of being alive. That feeling deeply is how we stay alive, and when done in community, we often find solace, compassion and even gratitude. As we stretch our capacity to feel sorrow, we stretch our capacity to feel joy.

If you are worried that this space may feel too much, please know that this is an inclusive and trauma-informed gathering, and you will not be expected to caretake for anyone else. Together, we can tend to the edges of our grief so that we can begin to feel safer in her presence.

Please email me questions that arise for x x