Aspiring to Flourishing Love as an Existential Imperative

Existential-leaning thinkers and psychotherapists often return to themes of freedom, choice, responsibility, authenticity, meaninglessness, and absurdity. But what of love? Considering that most people obtain primary meaning and purpose in their lives from enriching the quality of their close intimate relationships, love may have more hallmark significance for in the existential tradition than we imagine. Which is not to discount the perennial importance of standard existential themes. Notions of freedom open the door for committed love to be anchored to normal human desire, rather than divinely surveilled moral duty. We may have a responsibility to authenticate our own unique sense of self; but, there is also a relational responsibility we carry to be the most loving version of ourselves with our beloved, bearing in mind his/her/their otherness. Modern love is freighted with so many contradictions and mundane annoyances that without humor and an appreciation of the absurd, intimate partners are hamstrung. Mortality awareness and death acceptance can be potent motivators for partners to be the most loving versions of themselves with each other because we only have so much time to “get it right” and deathbed regrets inspire a dreadful type of dread. This talk will explore these ideas and more in ways that should appeal to those seeking a secular-philosophical outlook on the pursuit and practice of flourishing love. Reception following book reading and signing

Enrico Gnaulati Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist based in Pasadena, California, and Affiliate Professor of Psychology at Seattle University. He has published numerous journal and magazine articles and his work has been featured on Spectrum News, Al Jazeera America, China Global Television Network, KPCC Los Angeles, KPFK, Los Angeles, KPBS, San Diego, WBUR, Boston, KPFA Berkeley, Wisconsin Public Radio, Public Radio Tulsa, Free Thought Radio, and in print/online at the Atlantic, Salon, Psychology Today, Free Inquiry, Yes! Magazine, and Psychotherapy Networker, as well as reviewed in Maclean's, Pacific Standard, the Huffington Post, The Australian, Prevention and the New Yorker. As a blogger for Mad in America and PsychAlive, board member for the Psychotherapy Action Network (PsiAN), and through his writings and advocacy efforts he is considered a nationally recognized reformer of mental health practice and policy. His books include: Back to Normal: Why Ordinary Childhood Behavior is Mistaken for ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Autism Spectrum Disorder (Beacon Press, 2013), Saving Talk Therapy: How Health Insurers, Big Pharma, and Slanted Science are Ruining Good Mental Health Care (Beacon Press, 2018), and Emotion-Regulating Play Therapy with ADHD Children: Staying with Playing (Jason Aronson, 2008). His latest books are Flourishing Love: A Secular Guide to Lasting Intimate Relationships (Karnac Books, 2023) and Peacemaking with Preschoolers: Conflict Resolution to Promote Emotional Mastery and Harmonious Classrooms, (GoodMedia Press, 2024).

Host or Publisher Seattle University Department of Psychology