Queer Men's Aging Well Peer Support Group 2nd Tues (Pittsfield, MA)

As part of its new 4 week Aging Well Collaborative Learning Series (see links for each event below) Q-MoB is kicking off a new Queer Men's Aging Well Peer Support Group, and we invite queer men 40 & older to the organizational gatherings on the 2nd & 4th Tuesdays (6/11 & 6/25), 6:30-8 pm, of this group to co-create its format, what topics the group would most like to address, and what its core values & mission will be. In this group we will learn how to practice: 1) Being Vulnerable,
2) Asking for Help,
3) Sharing only our own experience & not giving advice,
4) Confidentiality,
5) Listening with curiosity & empathy,
6) building & being part of a team.
Some of the topics the group may look at include helping men to negotiate the inevitable transitions that come with aging in --

• Relationships (family, chose family, friends, lovers)
• Health (changes in stamina, dealing with loss of muscle mass, increase in belly fat, slowing of metabolism, chronic pain, chronic illness, loss of hearing & sight, etc)
• Housing (being able to afford to stay in your house & keep up with the maintenance, mobility in your house, downsizing, etc)
• Grieving the loss/change of relationships, phyiscal & mental stamina, health, resources, sexuality, & autonomy
• Financial Resources & Risks (how can you plan for your most important financial risks on a fixed income, manage to find affordable health insurance that effectively manages healthcare financial risks, and manage to create abundance)
• Work/Service (record numbers of queer elders are forestalling retirement & continuing to work or consult and others find transitioning to retirement and service challenging because their work so defined their identity; other's are having to work multiple part-time jobs just to make ends meet)
• Spirituality (many queer men have the time & motivation to inquire about spirituality/mindfulness/is this all there is questions, but find traditional Christianity, Islam, and other mainstream religions not very welcoming or relevant to their lives)

C0-FACILITATORS of the Organizational Gatherings of the Queer Men's Aging Well Peer Support Group

• David Pais, co-lead a group for 5 years for people recently diagnosed with HIV in Chelsea from 1994-1999. He left to earn an MA in counseling from Loyola -Chicago and did a practicum year at the LGBT Center for people who were just coming out.
• Bart Church, Q-MoB Interim Executive Director has been organizing queer educational and peer support groups for more than 25 years and helping his 86 year old parents negotiate their aging well process, as well as the aging well process of his many queer friends who are in their 60s, 70s, and 80s.

JOIN THE 4 AGING WELL COLLABORATIVE LEARNING SESSIONS: If you would like a more educational way to augment your learning bout these issues, we encourage you to also come hear from local experts about some proven aging well hacks (strategies) & join other LGBTQ+ people in working together to learn how to create on-going aging well study & action groups on these 4 topics (click on the title links to learn more or register):
: Creating Healthy Habits for Eating, Exercising, Sleeping, & Mindfulness

: building your chosen family & Aging Well Team

: fostering intergenerational home-sharing & making your home safe & sustainable for aging

: creating abundance on a fixed income, managing financial risks associated with aging (including understanding health insurance options)

ABOUT THE AGING WELL SERIES: This series is designed to connect you with LGBTQ people and experts/allies in your area who want to support one another in continuing to learn and teach what works to others in your LGBTQ circle who are committed to collaboratively figuring out how to age well. We will create on-going Aging Well Study & Action Groups that focus either on one of the 4 main topics, or take a more wholistic approach and study and experiment with all 4 issues. The impotant thing is to find an intergeneratioal group of LGBTQ people who live near you to gather regularly to study what works, experiment with what might work, and then support one another in sustaining those healthy habits and, most importantly, teaching what works to othe LGBTQ people who want to study & learn together. We ask each person in these groups to take turns being a student and a teacher, and a coach and a team player.

STARTLING DATA ON THE COMING LGBTQ+ AGING CRISIS: Here is some startling data from the largest study ever done on LGBTQ+ seniors that underscores the aging crisis many LGBTQ seniors are facing, and also shows how powerful the Boomers and Gen X have been in collaborating to fight AIDS and government inaction on AIDS and in building a powerful network of action and support that saved millions of lives. The coming health, social, & economic crisis LGBTQ seniors are facing is just the next in a long line of challenges the queer community has faced and overcome by coming together to learn and take action together:

• More than 3 million LGBTQ adults over age 50 live in the U.S. – and more than half of them feel isolated from others and 59 percent report feeling a lack of companionship. This population is set to grow to about 7 million by 2030 (6 years from now). The LGBTQ senior population in the Berkshires is growing even faster because of COVID migrations from the big cities.

• 7 out of 10 LGBT older adults live alone as compared to 3 out of 10 heterosexual older adults. The social isolation of living alone, compounded by the fears of allowing homecare, chore-service, and other lay and professional staff into one’s home create a significant barrier for care. LGBT older adults often feel they have no one to call in times of need.

• 9 out of 10 LGBT older adults have no children to help care for them as compared to 2 out of 10 heterosexual older adults. Furthermore, LGBT older adults have often been ostracized from an extended network of family members based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. LGBT older adults tend to form extended friend networks or “chosen families” that they rely on to help care for them at times of need. Unlike heterosexual family structures that are intergenerational, chosen families tend to be comprised of peers who are, as they age, facing the same care challenges.

• LGBT older adults are nearly 3 times as likely to live in poverty as heterosexual older adults, and to have lower lifetime incomes and retirement incomes.

CARPOOLING/RIDE-SHARE: If you need a ride or are open to carpooling, please indicate that when you are registering, & our ride coordinator will try to match you with people nearby who are interested in carpooling or offering rides. We encourage carpooling because it is a great way to make new friends, save money on gas, reduce your carbon footprint, and have a designated driver should you want to drink and not drive.

OR : Please donate $5-$20 to help assure Q-MoB can continue to offer more than 25 activities & multiple resources & services to rural queer men all over the region. If you attend 2 or more Q-MoB events/month, please consider becoming a monthly sustaining donor member. By donating $25, $50, $75, or $100/month you can help to sustain the incredible variety of activities, services, and resources Q-MoB provides and assure all of these activities are accessible to men regardless of their age, income, or ability, and best of all you can avoid having to donate at each and every event you attend. Monthly Sustaining Members pay only once a month and then can attend all our activities with no further donation.

REACHING US THE DAY OF THE EVENT: If the day of the event you cannot join us, have trouble finding the group, or will be late, please text one of the Co-Hosts: Davi at 929-302-8233 or Bart at 503-734-6508.

Host or Publisher Q-MoB (Queer Men of the Berkshires)