Porch Geese in Seaside Park NJ
Schedule
Fri, 03 Jul, 2026 at 12:00 pm to Mon, 06 Jul, 2026 at 12:00 pm
UTC-04:00Location
Seaside Park Beach, NJ | Seaside Park, NJ
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Stars, Stripes & Slightly Better Life ChoicesSeaside Park… prepare yourselves. The Original Porch Goose™ is beach-bound and boldly judgmental at Seaside Park Beach, July 3–6... just in time for fireworks, fried food, and family members making decisions we all have to emotionally recover from.
Yes, we’re looking at you, Uncle Lou.
No one needed the banana hammock. No one.
While the rest of the shore is busy deep-frying Oreos and dignity, our 82-lb feathered forewoman will be standing tall - silently questioning your sunscreen strategy, your cooler contents, and your choice to wear those jeans in 94-degree humidity like some kind of denim-based martyr.
Expect:
Patriotism with posture (she stands for the flag and for better decision-making).
Sass sharper than a seagull stealing your boardwalk fries mid-bite.
A goose so sturdy she doubles as a windbreak when the ocean breeze - and your cousin’s Corona-drenched opinions get aggressive.
📩 DM us here on Facebook or call/text 908-339-5060 to secure your very own porch patriot before someone else with slightly better taste beats you to it. These geese move faster than a seagull spotting unattended funnel cake.
Whether you’re here for the fireworks, the beach, or to prove to your extended family that you’ve evolved since last summer’s “incident”… come meet the only bird brave enough to witness it all and still stay standing.
Because freedom rings… but the goose honks louder.
See you on the sand, you absolute legend. 🧡
- Dawn Hartfelder
The Original Porch Goose™
(82 lbs of liberty, judgment, and SPF 0 because she fears nothing)
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Where is it happening?
Seaside Park Beach, NJ, 1987 Boardwalk, Seaside Park, NJ 08752-1203, United StatesEvent Location & Nearby Stays:
Know what’s Happening Next — before everyone else does.
