Not Just an Intro to Consent: Owning Your Yes and Your No

Why stop at one? Register for Not Just an Intro to Consent: Owning Your Yes and No and unlock 25% off Flowing with Finger Floggers (5/16, 5:30–7:30pm), automatically. Your discount code will arrive in your inbox, ready to use.

Hollywood lied to you. The idea that real chemistry means never needing words? That's a fantasy, and can be a harmful one. Spontaneous passion makes great movies. It makes for complicated real life.

In reality, the most exciting, satisfying play happens when everyone knows exactly what they're getting into. Knowing how to ask and how to answer isn't just polite. It's what makes play actually work. And here's the secret the movies won't tell you: done right, the conversation is the foreplay.

This interactive workshop is your chance to practice both sides: asking for what you actually want, making requests that land, and responding to others with honesty and confidence. No lectures, just real practice with real scenarios. Whether you're brand new or a seasoned player, you'll leave with real tools, ready to have the conversation before the fun begins.

---
Workshop Logistics
No partner required.
If attending both workshops, please note that there will be a lunch break from 4:30 to 5:30, with a firm start time of 5:30 for Flowing with Finger Floggers. We recommend bringing a bag lunch and snacks.

Bio:

Dennis is a Marriage and Family Therapist by day and a kinkster by … well, day and night. He is an active member of the San Diego kink community and is known for his unique style of flogging that relies not just on brute force, but also rhythm, sensuality, and artistry. You may have seen him teaching classes, offering demonstrations, or performing with his wife, Melissa, at the Folsom Street Fair, Bondage Ball, DomCon, San Diego Pride, and various clubs and events in California. He offers flogging tutorials and writes about consent at flogandflow.com. Check out his and Melissa’s work on Instagram @flogandflow

___

KINK STORE EVENT CODE OF CONDUCT

Golden Rule
Treat one another with kindness and respect.

Consent
Consent is required for all touch and play at this event. It must be freely given, revocable, informed, engaged, and specific (FRIES).

• Never touch anyone without permission.
• Negotiate all scenes in advance. No up-negotiation during play.
• Do not assume anyone's presence implies availability.
• Do not join or interrupt a scene without invitation.
• If someone asks to be left alone, respect that immediately.
• Obtain explicit consent before photographing or involving others in your scenes.

Privacy and Discretion
What happens here stays here. Treat all information about attendees and activities as confidential. Do not "out" anyone regarding their identity, orientation, kinks, or attendance.

Community Care
Don't yuck someone's yum. This means respecting that others may have different kinks, interests, and ways of expressing themselves. What isn't your thing may be someone else's joy. Keep negative reactions, comments, or judgments about others' consensual interests to yourself. This is an LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC-inclusive space. Everyone is expected to show up with respect and care for others. We maintain a zero-tolerance policy for:

• Discrimination or bias based on race, gender, sexuality, disability, or body size.
• Harassment, intimidation, coercion, bullying, or unwanted advances.
• Non-consensual behavior of any kind.
• Misgendering, deadnaming, or invalidating anyone's identity.

Intoxicants & Altered States
Alcohol and intoxicants are not permitted. We recognize that substances affect capacity to consent, and we prioritize everyone's safety. If you appear unable to give or receive clear consent, a host may check in with you privately. Continued concern may result in being asked to pause play or step outside. This is never a punishment, but a community care measure. Our priority is keeping everyone safe and able to enjoy the space.

Health and Hygiene

• Please stay home if you are feeling sick or experiencing symptoms.
• Be scent-aware: avoid heavy perfumes, colognes, or strongly scented products.
• Be thoughtful and considerate of all bodily odors when attending and throughout events. Come prepared, as personal hygiene is your responsibility. If you need basic hygiene supplies, please ask a host.
• Respect others' disclosed allergies or sensitivities.

Respect the Space
Treat staff, hosts, and the venue with care and courtesy. Return any equipment to its proper place and report any damage or safety concerns to a host immediately.

• Wipe down any surfaces where fluid contact may have occurred.
• If you need cleaning or disinfecting supplies, please ask a host.

Scenes and Play

• Be mindful of those in active scenes or aftercare. Do not interrupt, crowd, or hover.
• Respect established play areas, furniture, and equipment; ask a host before using anything unfamiliar.
• Any play considered edge play must be disclosed in advance to event hosts. This includes rope suspension, any form of breath restriction, electrical play, and similar high-risk activities.
• Allow adequate space between scenes and bystanders.

Safewords
Agree on safewords before any play begins.

• "Red" or "Safeword" will immediately stop a scene. Alert hosts if necessary.
• "Yellow" (or equivalent) indicates a limit or request to reduce intensity.
• If verbal safewords are not possible, establish a clear nonverbal signal in advance. For example, three deliberate head shakes as a "no" signal, or dropping a held object.
• Honoring a safeword is non-negotiable. Ignoring one is a serious violation.

Safer Sex

• Communicate openly and honestly about STI status when relevant.
• Safer sex supplies will be available when needed.
• Respect others' safer sex boundaries and practices without question or pressure.

Safety Monitors & Dungeon Monitors
Dungeon Monitors (DMs) and hosts are here to support safety and consent. They have final say and may stop any scene. Please:

• Inform DMs or hosts in advance of any edge or atypical play.
• Follow their instructions promptly and without argument.
• Seek them out immediately if you witness any consent violation.
• Be patient; they may be attending to another matter.

Phones and Photography
No photography, video, or audio recording is permitted unless explicitly stated otherwise for a specific event. Keep your phone stored and screens dimmed in play areas. Violations of this policy are taken extremely seriously.

Aftercare
Aftercare is a vital part of responsible BDSM play. Check in with your play partners following a scene. Be mindful that aftercare needs vary; some may need space, others physical comfort, or time to decompress. Hosts may have a designated aftercare area or resources available. Please ask if you need support.

Newcomers & First-Timers
We welcome people who are new to events like this. If you're unsure about anything, ask a host. No question is too basic. We encourage experienced community members to be patient and welcoming mentors, not gatekeepers.

Concerns and Reporting
If you witness or experience a consent violation or safety concern, please speak with a host or event representative immediately. All reports will be handled with discretion and taken seriously. You will be believed and supported. You may also email [email protected] if you wish to remain anonymous. We are committed to accountability and learning.

Consequences for Violations
Violations of this code of conduct may result in:

• A verbal warning from a host or DM.
• Being asked to stop a scene or activity.
• Being asked to leave the event immediately.
• Being banned from future events.

Serious violations involving non-consent will result in immediate removal and may be reported to relevant community networks.

Know what’s Happening Next — before everyone else does.

Get App

Host or Publisher KinkStore Events