Johanna Gohmann presents All Toddlers Are Scorpios

About the book:

In the spirit of There Are Moms Way Worse Than You and Go the F**k to Sleep, humor writer Johanna Gohmann channels the chaos and charm of life with a toddler into this hilarious astrology guide.
“Charming, funny, and most importantly: cathartic.” —Glenn Boozan, New York Times bestselling author of There Are Moms Way Worse Than You
Parenting can be one of the most magical, hilarious, and maddening experiences known to humankind. One minute your little wonder is blowing you kisses, the next they’re licking the neighbor’s car. This book is for every parent who has ever felt like they’ve slipped through the space-time continuum while waiting for a small child to put on their shoes, or for the caregiver who can’t believe the heart-crushing love they feel for someone who just threw yogurt in their face. This is a book that lets parents laugh at the sheer insanity of sharing their home with someone who cackles when you break your toe and insists on wearing oven mitts to bed.
Blending parental exasperation with cosmic insight, Gohmann breaks down toddler personalities by zodiac sign—offering a starry-eyed (and slightly frazzled) look at the joys and mysteries of raising tiny humans. The profiles of each zodiac sign include sections dedicated to best (and worst!) toddler playdate matches; toddler's preferred music, snacks, and toys; parent-child zodiac compatibility; and hilarious illustrations throughout from cartoonist Emily Flake. Whether you are raising a tenacious Taurus, a balanced Libra, or, yes, a hell-raising Scorpio, this is a book that lets parents laugh at the sheer insanity of sharing their home with a tiny terror.

About the Author:

Johanna Gohmann is a Brooklyn-based writer who grew up in New Albany, Indiana. Her humor writing has appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal, and her essays have been published in several anthologies, including The Best Women’s Travel Writing and Every Father’s Daughter. Her new book, All Toddlers Are Scorpios – An Astrological Guide to Your Adorable Tiny Terror, was published by Running Press in April 2026.

Know what’s Happening Next — before everyone else does.

Get App

Host or Publisher Susan Norton