Curiosity Café: Gaslighting

We will be hosting our next Curiosity Café on Tuesday, August 18th at the Madison Avenue Pub (14 Madison Ave, Toronto, ON M5R 2S1). Come and hang out with us, grab food, and read through our handout from 6-6:30. Our structured discussion will run from 6:30-8:30pm with a 10 minute break in the middle.

Gaslighting: perhaps one of the biggest and most controversial buzzwords of the last decade. Merriam-Webster’s ‘Word of the Year' in 2022. We use it to refer to everything from the public spread of misinformation, to the denial of another person’s point of view, to one of most damaging and insidious forms of psychological abuse. But despite the term’s recent explosion in popularity, there is no consensus on where the boundaries of gaslighting actually lie.

Get your flashlights ready for our next café: it’s time to shine a light on this elusive concept! Join co-moderators Jaylen Stark and Sophia Whicher to explore the who, what, why, and how of gaslighting by considering questions such as:

• How does gaslighting impact a person’s trust in themselves and those around them?
• What is the difference between gaslighting and trying to convince someone they’re wrong?
• Can you gaslight someone with a single statement, or does gaslighting need to be repeated/reinforced over time?
• Can you gaslight someone unintentionally?
• Who can gaslight? Who can be gaslit?
• Is gaslighting only done through words? What role do body language, tone, and actions play in gaslighting behaviour?
• What makes gaslighting distinctive from other forms of psychological and verbal abuse?

Disclaimer: due to the nature of this topic, there is a likelihood that heavy subject matter and/or personal stories of abuse may arise over the course of this event. While we will try our best to establish clear guidelines regarding etiquette in group discussions and facilitators will continue to offer check-ins for those in attendance, facilitators are not equipped to professionally assist in the processing of personal traumas or triggers related to gaslighting. Please be advised.

*hey community! Sophia here, Director of Community Programming. We ask that you consider that our ideal recommended amount for a ticket is now $15, and as you choose what to donate within the bounds of your own financial means, we ask that you keep in mind that your donation will go directly towards compensating those involved in making Curiosity Cafés happen so that we can keep doing this for you.

Please note that we also still have 5 free tickets available for our attendees. If paying anything at all is not financially feasible for you, or our ticketing system presents some other barrier for you, please contact our Director of Community Programming at [email protected]. These tickets will be first come, first served, no questions asked! You can expect to hear back from her within 72 hours.

For those of you who haven’t had the opportunity to join us at our Curiosity Cafés and are wondering what they’re all about: every two weeks, we invite members of our community to come out to the Madison Avenue Pub to engage in a collaborative exploration of our chosen topic. Through these events, we aim to build our community of people who like to think deeply about life’s big questions, and provide each other with some philosophical tools to dig deeper into whatever it is we are most curious about.

Some accessibility-related information* about our event and the venue:

• This event involves a verbal discussion, with a handout to guide the discussion
• There will be a large-print version of the handout available
• We ask the staff at the Maddy to turn off the speakers playing music in the room we are in. Unless we end up in their “VIP” room upstairs (very unlikely!), this keeps background noise to a minimum.
• There will be earplugs available to tamper background noise
• There are about five steps up to the entrance of the Madison, and another to get in the door. In order to get upstairs, where we sometimes hold our events, there is another set of stairs that are quite steep. While we hope to be in the downstairs room, we cannot guarantee this until closer to the event date.
• There are two single stall bathrooms located downstairs that we will have access to. The other bathrooms, located on the main and upper floor, are gendered.
• Should you be accompanied by a support person, please contact us in advance so that we can add them to our guest list. Their ticket will be included, for free, as part of your pay-what-you-can ticket.

*We recognize that this list provides a far-from comprehensive picture of accessibility-related concerns you might have. Please feel free to contact our team at [email protected], or the Madison Avenue Pub (416-927-1722) with any other questions or concerns you might have.