Why it Matters to Know Who You Are

About Bob Falconer

The Center for Deep Self Design is proud to collaborate with and present acclaimed author, teacher, and psychotherapist Bob Falconer for a series of live half-day workshops to share the latest groundbreaking understanding of the mind and how it can transform lives and society.

Bob is one of the most sought-after teachers and skillful practitioners of a psychotherapeutic model called Internal Family Systems. In 2017, Bob co-authored with the founder of the IFS model, Richard Schwartz.

Bob is now focused on placing IFS in a multicultural and historical context and working with the others within us—what we find in our minds that is not part of our systems, called unattached burdens and guides in IFS.

About the Workshop

In the Western World, we’re convinced we have one, unified mind. Despite heaps of evidence to the contrary, we still believe that “I” or “ME” = one governing unit out of which all thoughts, ideas, and impulses emerge. We also believe our job is to be “in control of” or “in charge of” that unit.

The problem with this “mono-mind” idea is that it’s counterintuitive, baseless, and counter-productive. It cripples our creativity and limits us. There is no such thing as a concrete, static, unitary YOU that stays the same in each situation or even in each moment. What IS true is that your mind is composed of multiple “Little Minds” or “Parts” that long to be in relationship to a Deeper Self. Realizing this truth tunes into our inner world, where we’ll quickly discover we’re frequently at odds with ourselves, even when evaluating a single topic.

That said, who cares? What does disrupting the mono-mind paradigm have to do with your life?

We function in a state of internal civil war, wasting most of our energy uselessly. We can change this and function as an orchestra, a great band, or sports team.

A passage from our guest facilitator and veteran psychotherapist, Robert Falconer’s book, Many Minds, One Self, addresses that question:

In the Mono-mind view, anything “in the way” of us becoming who we are “supposed to be” is viewed as an obstacle. For example we can relate to, if you fear doing a presentation, you would want to use your willpower to override the fear. Or you might argue with it so as to correct its “irrational” thoughts. If it persists in interfering, however, it’s likely that you would escalate your attempts to control it. You might criticize yourself for being a coward. You might also try to drink it or drug it into oblivion, or meditate to get away from it. If none of those approaches work, you wind up adapting your life to avoid situations where you have to speak in public, while also feeling like a failure and wondering what’s wrong with you. You come to have low self-esteem, at least regarding that part of your life. That sense of inadequacy can easily become generalized because somehow, you’ve failed to “control” yourself.” As a result, you start to live a smaller life, one that is anathema to what you know you’re capable of, to your deeper potential.

Perhaps you’re wondering, is there a way to approach ourselves differently?

There absolutely is. Join us for a workshop filled with hope, discovery, and positive disruptions.

Host or Publisher Center for Deep Self Design