Wheel of Consent

The Wheel of Consent® is a practical framework developed by Dr. Betty Martin that helps people understand who is doing what, to whom, and why in any physical or relational interaction. It breaks consent into four distinct quadrants based on two questions: Who is receiving the touch or action? and Who is giving the touch or action?

At its core, the model distinguishes:

• Giving — You give to meet someone else’s needs.
• Receiving — You take to meet your own needs.
• Taking — You take from someone else with their consent.
• Allowing — You allow someone to take from you with your consent.

The Wheel helps people communicate clearly about boundaries, desires, and preferences, fosters mutual respect, and teaches how to offer and accept contact or interaction in ways that prioritize autonomy and clarity. It’s widely used in contexts like somatic consent work, BDSM, sexuality education, and relational embodiment practices.

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