THE ART OF CLOSENESS

The Art of Closeness

Our bodies are wired to crave closeness. From the moment we are born, we instinctively know this and seek closeness from our primary caregivers to form secure and healthy attachments. It is written in our DNA yet as we get older the concept of “closeness” changes based upon our conditioning, our story, and our relationship with the world and others. Unfortunately, many of us have grown up believing “closeness” is something that it’s not and we will explore this in the workshop. We may have learned that merging with others is how we have closeness. We may not know how to stay in our own experience or speak to it. There may be discomfort in any amount of revealing of ourselves in relationships. Or we may have learned that closeness is synonymous with getting hurt or being disappointed. Closeness is what we desire but also what we fear.

As we learn about ourselves through our relationships, what we want, what works for us in connecting with someone, so too we learn about what works for us in the dance. 

• What boundaries support us? What pitfalls arise for us personally in getting close?
• How do we take ownership for ourselves/experience while respecting another’s autonomy?
• What is it like to be separate, which creates the potency and exhilaration of knowing and being known, rather than becoming “one” that creates codependency and stifles true  connection?
• Do we lose ourselves? Does separateness feel like a threat to getting close?
• Can we trust if we don’t align with someone there is another person who will? Or do we shapeshift for the sake of getting closeness, sacrificing our comfort?

In this workshop we will learn how to slowly and safely bring conscious effort, presence, and empathy to our relationship with self and others while listening to the wisdom of our bodies. We will learn about creating a sense of emotional and physical proximity that fosters trust, understanding, and shared vulnerability. And when our body, heart, mind, and soul do not want to share closeness with others and how to attune to these sensations and make informed body based decisions. While closeness can be intuitive for some, it often requires conscious effort. This workshop will help us connect to our own somatic sense of safety and information gathering process so that we can connect, communicate, and dance with others in our most authentic expression and truth.

Closeness isn’t static. It can ebb and flow depending on life circumstances, emotional states, and external pressures. A good relationship navigates these shifts, understanding that the art of closeness involves both closeness and space. Recognizing when closeness feels nourishing and when it feels suffocating allows relationships to remain healthy and vibrant.

In essence, the art of closeness is a balance of presence, vulnerability, respect, and shared growth. It’s less about proximity in a physical sense, and more about an emotional attunement that allows two or more people to feel seen, heard, and connected in ways that are deeply fulfilling.

Questions we will explore:

• How does merging with someone show up in how you dance? 
• Do you know the space in between, where you begin and they end? 
• Can you say what you need? 
• When is it appropriate to have separateness and when is the time to unite? Where can we flex and what is the non-negotiable? 
• How do we initiate closeness with separateness? 
• How do initial boundaries look in connection compared to deeper into the connection?
• How do I take care of myself in the dance and in relationships so there is an easy flow of sovereignty, choice and free offering?  

Contact Beyond Contact is a dance practice that allows us to learn how to connect and move in relation with ourselves and others. It helps us to recognize our own patterns of relating and how to slowly grow into the safety of connection and closeness with others. CBC is a dance and healing practice that integrates body, mind, heart, and spirit for personal and relationship growth.

***Please note this is not therapy or a therapy session. 

WHAT TO BRING:

• Water bottle
• Loose fitting clothing, athletic wear, or comfortable clothes to move in
• Item for altar (optional)
• Journal

Suggested Donation: $44-$66

Shannon’s Bio: Shannon Degnan is a psychotherapist in private practice who specializes in helping individuals overcome addictive sex and relational patterns. She focuses on assisting folks with embracing their authenticity, coming out of deprivation, staying in reality while in connection and learning how to nurture intimacy in relationships at a healthy pace. Shannon’s relationship to dance blossomed in 2017 with her introduction to both the Ecstatic Dance Community and dance therapy as a healing modality. She continued to pursue her passion and attend various dance events around Chicago. She performed as a dancer with Environmental Encroachment in 2021. Shannon has also been captivated by her experiences with Contact Beyond Contact [CBC] dance and how she can incorporate this embodied relating practice into her work with people who struggle with connection. She currently attends courses at The Embodied Education Institute for her Dance Movement Therapist Certification. Shannon looks forward to becoming trained in CBC, to introduce this practice to those with intimacy disorders. 

Matthew’s Bio:

Matthew Stackowicz is an embodiment alchemist weaving breath, visualization, movement, shamanic devotion, reiki, somatic awareness, and dance into all he does. He hosts regular men’s circles, dance practices, shamanic journeys, retreats, and community embodiment endeavors in Chicago, Indiana, and around the world. He gently and artfully guides others into connecting with themselves, others, and the divine in deeply held sacred containers where people can explore the intricacies of their heart, mind, body, and soul. His hope is to connect people to their fullest truth, authenticity, and expression to bring about the healing that this world desperately needs. He is a level 3 Contact Beyond Contact facilitator (teacher Van Legakis), Shamanic Reiki practitioner (teacher Angel Deer with The Healing Sanctuary), and breathwork facilitator in training (teacher Kaya Leigh of Sacred Breath Academy). 

Host or Publisher Matthew Stackowicz