Harvey Milonga (Valentine's Day Edition)
Schedule
Fri Feb 14 2025 at 06:00 pm to 10:00 pm
UTC-08:00Location
50 Scott St, San Francisco, CA, United States, California 94117 | San Francisco, CA
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6-7pm: all levels lesson7-10pm: social dancing
Sliding Scale Entry
milonga only: $10-20, $15 recommended
lesson + milonga: $15-25, $20 recommended
cash or venmo at the door
All proceeds benefit the Harvey Milk Center
(after we pay teacher and deejays)
Please note that we have switched to quarterly events! This will be our last milonga until May.
If you want to attend but cannot afford entry, please contact Wren Forth at [email protected].
Harvey Milonga is committed to the principle that inclusivity is a social contract. We strive to be a comfortable, safe, and joyous space for everyone—regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation, race, class, ethnicity, nationality, citizenship, religion, size, or ability—who commits to that contract.
WHAT IS AN ALTERNATIVE/CONTEMPORARY MILONGA?
A milonga is a tango social dance event. It’s also the name of an older music and dance form from which tango developed. At a milonga event, you will hear three different kinds of music: tango, vals, and milonga. In other words, milonga is the name of the event, and of one of the kinds of music you will hear at the event, and the specific dance done to that music. We realize this is confusing, and we apologize.
In the world of tango, people use the word “traditional” to signify recordings from tango’s golden age, from the mid-1930s to mid-1950s. Almost all other Bay Area milongas play 90-100% golden age recordings.
Post-golden age tango music is called “contemporary,” even if some of it is over seventy years old by now. Modern orchestras that reproduce the style of golden-age recordings are also considered contemporary, and you may hear some of those at this event.
“Alternative” refers to non-tango music that you can dance tango to. Some kinds of music also occupy the boundary between contemporary and alternative, such as electrotango.
At this milonga, we strive for a roughly 50/50 split between contemporary and alternative, but the only real rule is: no golden age recordings.
I AM A BEGINNER; CAN I COME?
Yes, beginners are welcome at this event. We highly recommend the following if you are a beginner:
• Come to the lesson at 6pm.
• During the milonga, dance in the middle of the floor, not at the edges, so you don't disrupt the line of dance (see floorcraft, below). This applies especially if you are leading.
• Read through this entire information page to familiarize yourself with milonga etiquette and practice.
TANDAS
Tango deejays usually play three- or four-song sets called tandas. After each tanda, they will play a cortina, about 45 seconds of a non-tango song to clear the floor.
When you agree to dance with someone, you are generally committing to dancing with them until the end of the tanda. You can end a partnership before then (consent can always be withdrawn) but this would be similar to walking away in the middle of a song in lindy or salsa.
It’s traditional to chat with your partner for the first 10-20 seconds of the second, third, and fourth songs of the tanda, before you start dancing.
At the end of the tanda, you can say “thank you,” which means “we are finished dancing for now.”
It’s unusual, but acceptable to verbally ask for a second tanda in a row with the same partner, particularly if you started the previous one toward the middle or end. Typically you would not dance a third tanda in a row together unless you were romantically involved.
ASKING FOR DANCES
Traditionally at a milonga, there are codes (codigos) for how to ask for a dance:
1) Wait until the cortina is over and the first song of the tanda has been playing for at least a few seconds, enough time to get a sense of the musical style.
2) Try to make eye contact with someone you would like to dance with. This is called the mirada. (If they are sitting down, do not stand directly in front of them and stare at them.)
3) Nod your head to ask for the dance, and if they nod their head as well they have accepted. This is called the cabeceo.
4) Walk towards the person. Traditionally one asks for the dance verbally at this point as well, but this is not always done in practice.
If you would like to reject a dance from someone who is trying to catch your eye, it’s polite to make eye contact and then immediately look away, rather than pretending you don’t see them.
You can ask anyone to dance, and you can dance in any role (leader, follower, or switch) regardless of gender.
FLOORCRAFT
Tango is a line-of-dance form, which means dancers progress counterclockwise around the floor in one or two lanes, depending on how crowded it is. Many of the floorcraft rules for leaders are similar to driving in traffic.
• Stay in your lane. Weaving in and out of lanes is frowned upon.
• Stay at least one full step behind the couple in front of you. Unless the floor is very crowded, the expectation is that any couple should be able to move one (but only one) step backwards against the line of dance.
• Keep up with the flow of traffic. Do not let the couple in front of you get too far ahead.
• If you want to bring your follower onto the floor after people have already started dancing, make eye contact with the leader of the couple you wish to merge in front of and wait for them to nod before entering (see mirada/cabeceo, above).
• Special rule for this milonga (the “Cell Space” rule): If you do not wish to follow the line of dance, you can use the leftover space in the middle of the floor. Beginners especially are encouraged to use this space.
KEEPING IT SIMPLE
One reason you dance several songs in a row with the same person is it gives you time to build physical rapport with a partner. Experienced leaders will typically keep it simple at least to begin with, to establish and calibrate the connection. Then they might, or might not, slowly build up the complexity.
Floorcraft should always be the priority. Never let the complexity of your dancing get in the way of your following the rules of traffic and respecting neighboring partnerships. Bumping into other dancers, or even getting too close, is frowned upon. Dips and lifts are generally not done in social tango at all, and we strongly discourage them here (volcadas and colgadas are still completely acceptable).
A follower may sometimes kick up their heel in a “boleo.” The partnership is collectively responsible for making sure no surrounding dancers get kicked.
TANGO CONNECTION
Tango has two primary modes of connection:
“Close,” a.k.a. close embrace, is a chest-to-chest connection in which both partners compress towards each other.
“Open” is similar to a standard waltz embrace, with no direct chest-to-chest connection (what in many other partner dance forms would be called closed position).
You can spend an entire dance in only one of these positions, or you can shift back and forth between them.
When initiating a dance, the leader extends their left arm out and to the side, and the follower takes it. If the leader leaves their right arm down at their side, that’s an invitation for the follower to come into close embrace, which the follower can accept or reject. If the leader extends their right arm toward the follower, that’s an invitation to open position only.
There’s no expectation of verbal consent for close embrace in tango. However, the leader should never use their right arm to pull the follower into close embrace.
The follower can always request to move from close to open non-verbally by tilting back slightly against the leader’s right arm.
CODE OF CONDUCT
Be excellent to each other, even with people you do not wish to dance with. Talk to people, invite them in, and acknowledge your shared humanity. Tango can be an icy space if left untended, so we call on everyone present to generate warmth.
Conversely, do not expect that someone who is talking to you, being friendly, or acknowledging your humanity wishes to dance with you. The rules of cabeceo still apply.
As a courtesy to the strangers with whom you will be dancing closely for ten minutes at a time, please minimize your body odors with soap and deodorant, while also avoiding perfume, cologne, aftershave, and other strong scents.
For the health of our ears and our sound system, music will be played at a moderate volume. Please keep voices low while you are in the dance hall.
We reserve the right to eject and/or ban anyone on the basis of:
• intoxication
• bigotry
• excessively loud or disruptive behavior
• violence or threat of violence
• sexual abuse, harassment, or predation
If you are uncertain whether a specific behavior qualifies as any of the above, we recommend you refrain from that behavior.
If you have an issue you wish to report or discuss, please speak to Nicola Bosco-Alvarez or email her at [email protected].
LEADERSHIP TEAM
Nicola Bosco-Alvarez — Venue and Safety Coordinator
David Kaminsky — Deejay and Instructor Coordinator
Wren Forth — Food and Volunteer Coordinator
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Where is it happening?
50 Scott St, San Francisco, CA, United States, California 94117Event Location & Nearby Stays:
