For Better or Wurst

Nick Noir, ace private eye, has just bought the wedding rings in preparation for his wedding to Selma, his devoted secretary. He’s also all set to meet Selma’s parents for the first time before he and Selma scoot off to Vegas for a quick wedding at the Little Chapel of Love.

Selma, however, has failed to fill Nick in on a few facts. For one thing, her father is Otto Meyer, who has made a fortune selling his famous hot dogs. Selma’s family lives in a mansion with 28 rooms, two swimming pools, and, well, you get the picture. It’s a life Nick’s not acquainted with.

For another thing, her mother and father are planning a Big Wedding being coordinated by two very gushy coordinators, Lonnie Hart and Lila Soul. Even the three bridesmaids are planning to be at the mansion to meet Nick. And by the way, Selma has told her folks that she’s marrying a doctor, and that she’s the chief administrator at Johns Hopkins Medical Center. To make the weekend jaunt even more interesting, the seductive Desiree Divine hires Nick to find a long-lost ex, whom she has traced to - - you guessed it - - Wurst mansion.

At the mansion, Otto’s business manager, Cosmo, is frantically trying to find out what happened to millions of dollars he claims he sent to the IRS as a tax payment but the IRS says they never received. As the wedding expenses mount up, Otto becomes more and more nervous about how he’ll make ends meet. Disaster strikes when Cosmo turns up dead, the victim of a blunt object to the back of the head.

“Dr.” Noir takes over, asking the usual questions and quickly finds that everybody in the house is a suspect. Ralph, Sissy’s lazy boyfriend has disappeared, so he becomes the prime suspect. When Desiree disappears as well, Nick decides he’d better mount an all-out offensive to find out who killed Cosmo and why.

With the fancy footwork of a classic gumshoe, Nick pieces the puzzle together while patching up his differences with Selma. Just as he reveals who the killer is.

Upper St. Clair School District residents aged 62 or older are eligible to receive a Gold Card – entitling them to FREE admission to performing arts and regular season athletic events. To obtain your Gold Card, please visit the High School main office Monday thru Friday from 8:00 AM to 2:45 PM. For more information about the Gold Card program, please visit uscsd.org/goldcard.

The Upper St. Clair School District is conducting a pilot program to allow Gold Card holders to make reservations to reserved-seating events, such as For Better or Wurst, online in advance of show night.

To make your seating reservation, select buy tickets above and choose Gold Card as the ticket type. You can either pick your seat on the map or allow the system to automatically pick the best seats available.

To prevent abuse, electronic delivery of Gold Card reservations is not available. All Gold Card reservations made online will be processed as Will Call and available for pickup at the Theater Box Office on show night. Please bring your Gold Card to pick up your ticket. Limit one ticket per Gold Card. Gold Card reservations not picked up at least 10 minutes before the published show time are subject to cancelation in the event of a sold-out performance.

• The use of cameras, video, or audio recording equipment is prohibited.
• No refund or exchange request will be accommodated except in the case of performance cancellation.
• The Producer of this event and the Upper St. Clair School District Administration reserve the right to refund the purchase price and refuse admission.
• Smoking is not permitted in the school building or on school grounds. Adherence to all Upper St. Clair School District policies is a condition for participation in and/or admittance to this event.
• Ticket resale is prohibited.

Host or Publisher Upper St. Clair School District