feels ENM 17: an IRL dating event.

// about \\

Created by Allie Hoffman as part of her masters degree thesis work at Columbia University’s Spirit Mind Body Institute, ‘the feels’ is a 3-hour evening that includes an 80 minute facilitated experience.

The format builds off the work of Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell, Dr Martha Eddy, the Buddha + the Tavistock Institute - among others.

‘The feels’ level 1 experience guides you through pairings that include meditations, prompts, positive reflections, and somatic elements like eye gazes + hugs.

‘The feels’ believes that =>

• Better relating is possible.
• Your body holds infinite wisdom, and tapping into that to determine if you want to connect deeper with someone, gives you more valuable ‘information’ than head-based read outs like where someone lives or where they work;
• Online dating has left us treating each other badly; the way back is to show up with kindness, and care – which we facilitate you into expressions of;
• Co-regulation is a powerful place to be – and we’re here to help you experience it;
• Discomfort is OK. We believe if you’re able to sit at the edge of discomfort, and self-soothe - that it empowers a sense of self and pride that fortifies you;
• If all you do at ‘the feels’ is write a love letter to you - we’re really happy w that. We don’t promise you that you’ll meet the love of your life - but we can guarantee that you’ll walk away with a sense of your own amazing’ness. We’re really here for that.

More things to know about ‘the feels’ =>

• Our facilitators are professionals holding masters degrees (or higher) in the fields of mental health, movement, therapy, performance, and sexual health - among others;
• Your ticket includes unlimited light bites, alcoholic + non alc beverage options;
• Since inception + in partnership with Columbia, survey data we have collected shows that 70% of all ‘feels’ level 1 attendees will walk out the contact info for someone they’re excited about;
• We’re here to build a community of people who believe - like we do - that its possible to treat each other better. Your purchasing this ticket opens that world to you. We bring it to life via WhatsApp communities + a series of offerings only available to Level 1 alumni.

Want to learn more?

Peek the website.

Read the White Paper on the format.

Read about us in the NYTimes.

Read bout us in Thrillist and Philly Mag.

// the who \\

this edition of 'the feels' is for ppl who identify as: practicing / exploring / engaging in non monogamy, polyamory, relationship anarchy, non-traditional relationship structure + its (also) for you if you're exploring mindful connection; if you're in new and ever expanding expressions of your sexuality; + if you're exploring attraction and desire + one of your core - if not the core - value you hold is honesty/integrity/commitment to truth.

This version of the 'feels' is open to all regardless of age, religious identity, race, body type, gender identity or expression, or sexual orientation.

We have very intentionally made this ENM feels a queer friendly event, to honor + uplift the very significant overlap between our queer community and our ENM community! This means that participants are welcome to explore + invite pairings that best align with their desires, regardless of gender parity in the room.

// what people are saying \\

“I felt open, grounded, happy, and optimistic, not just about the connections made, but also about life in general.”

“This was a radical departure from how I usually experience dating and attraction.”

“As someone who struggles with emotional intimacy I truly enjoyed the event. It forced me to push through the walls I put up and engage someone in a way I usually wouldn’t until much later in a dating relationship.”

“I remember the change in the room as each activity went on—I could feel the collective self-regulation.”

// pls note \\

We do not offer refunds, as we're a small business and unable to accommodate refund or credit requests for future events.

However, you’re welcome to transfer your ticket to the same event in the same category. For example, if you purchased a Female ticket for NY Feels 12, you can transfer or sell it to another female attendee for that same event. You are responsible for finding a replacement. Once the switch is confirmed, please email us their name and email.

While we typically don't offer credits for future events, we’re more flexible with our Queer and ENM events as we continue to grow those communities.

For further questions on ticket transfers please refer to our .

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